Saturday, January 7, 2012

Some Thoughts

Hi there!

I've been busy for the past few weeks with just family stuff.  The holidays, traveling, trying to get the house back in order, etc.  I've done very little as far as my clay work goes.  Whenever this happens, I start to feel "off" and not quite right.  I am happiest when my days have some balance between family and art, and the art side of things just wasn't happening.  It makes me grumpy and I feel like I lose myself.  I even feel a physical sensation - my chest gets tighter.  I feel like I can't expand my lungs and take a super deep breath.  This is the way I have been feeling lately.  I wasn't sure how to change things either, as there seemed to be no end in sight.  Until last night.

I got an email last night about an exhibition I had applied for.  It was a surprise email as the notification date for the show had already past.  I couldn't believe my eyes!  My heart sped up and I actually gasped as I read the email!  And then POOF!  That tension, that tight feeling in my chest disappeared instantly and I felt like I could breathe better and stand straighter!  What a feeling.  I was so happy and it brought me back to my goals and dreams that I have for myself. 

It's taken me a while to understand that I truly need to make time for myself.  I tend to forget it, but how I feel when I get some creative time is vastly different from how I feel when I don't.  I know I am a happier (read: better) mother, when I have just a little time to create.  I don't need 10 hours a day to create - no, nothing like that.  (I'd love to have it, but not right now when my kids are so young!) But I need to make sure that I get 5-10 hours a week for myself.  That's not that much, and oh, what a difference it would make. 

This is a huge topic for me, and I could keep typing and typing, but I don't want to put you all to sleep.  Really, I just wanted to share my good news about my invitational.  I will share some details later, as I learn more :)

Breathing easier,

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