Saturday, October 9, 2010

On Being a Single Parent

so I have no new photos for you guys tonight. Things have been going well in the studio, albeit, a little slowly. I've been too tired at night to work mostly, unless it's reading other blogs and having a glass of vino. :) I did start a sketch this morning, but it still needs quite a bit of work before it's ready to share.

As most of you know, hubby is away at Stunt Man School. Things there are really going well, but everyone's bodies are starting to hurt. Lots of Advil is being munched on like candy, and they are icing some of their joints too. It's been two weeks and they have two more to go. They've been doing some fun rappelling (sp?), and some zip line stuff. They were going to do some more high jumps, but it has been windy and the jumps were postponed.

So he has been gone for two weeks, and this is the longest I have ever been alone with the kiddo. I have ALWAYS respected single parents, and now I have a much better appreciation for what they do. We have no family here to help, but I did get the babysitter one night this week so I could have a fun work session with Dreamy Designs owner Laura. She's a girl I met through Twitter and we have become friends in real life. I am so thankful to have her as a friend! But anyway, back to the parenting. A few things I have noticed about being a single parent:

*I get tired of the same old routine and the same old arguments. Eat your beans, brush your teeth, etc.
*I sleep very lightly, because I know that I am totally responsible for her safety. I have even had very real dreams about "Protection" of children.. BTW, the last thing I need are more problems sleeping! That insomnia still likes to visit regularly...
*My daughter watches more TV than I would like her to, because mommy has to have time to cook dinner/wash dishes, insert various household chore here.
*I feel guilty because we don't get to go fun places everyday, like the beach or the park, because we have other things that need to be done, like take the dog to the vet, go to the grocery store, blah, blah, blah
*I love the exclusive snuggle time when it does come. I love every single second of it.
*I'm more tired at night. How in the world do other artist mommies who are single parents find the ENERGY to do their artwork?!?
*The kiddo is now talking up a storm and I LOVE the conversations that we have on walks and in the car. I wish I could record each one and listen to them at night before bed.
*Having said that, I really miss adult conversation. When Laura came over the other night, I felt like I was absorbing every nuance and word that she was saying. I also felt like I talked her ear off. I realized the next morning how much I was missing that.
*My back gets really tired from holding her so much. (she has liked to be held from Day 1 of her life, and I'm speaking of my daughter, not Laura, LOL)
*As hard as all this can be at certain moments, I am glad that I'm the one here and not the one gone for a month. I know I would miss these moments with my daughter so damn much!

She's growing up so fast. I used to hear people say that before I had a daughter, and I never truly understood that phrase. I thought it was just one of those things that people said. NOW I GET IT. And in those moments when I am tired, my back is screaming at me, and she's fighting me to brush her teeth, I am trying to keep that in mind. :)

In the meantime, I'm in the studio when she naps. Hopefully, I'll have a good work session tomorrow.

Goodnight! ~Kelly


  1. It's so true Kelly, my babies are 16 and 11. I remember feeling so overwhelmed at times when they were little and now I miss it. I'm really impressed with how much you do get done artistically. You have amazing talent and I'm thinking you're an amazing mamma too. Glad you've found a friend close by, that girl time is important. Love to you. :)

  2. It is very true. Mine are 17 and 15 and it was just yesterday that they were 1 and 3!

    My hubby worked 7 days per week and 14 hour days when the babies were babies and I remember feeling much of what you are feeling now. It will pass! And then you will be wondering what to do with yourself!! (besides some pampering...! ☺)♥♥

  3. Stunt Man School sounds SO neat! How cool!! What a special time the two of you are getting to spend together! Sounds like many wonderful memories are being made. :)

  4. Kelly, I can relate to that. When we had just immigrated to the US, my husband went on a business trip back to Germany. My daughter was 3 at that time, and boy, did I miss those adult conversations! I had missed them for quite a while since I didn't know anybody here (we had moved to the States 3 months before that), but at least I could talk to my husband in the evening, but now there was NO ONE except for my sweet daughter who still asked almost every day when we were going back to Germany... Nowadays I absolutely cherish if she and I have a few days on our own, we can cuddle and just change the daily routine (she's 12 now) and do crazy things... yes, you're right, they grow up way too fast. Yes, it's hard, and please don't feel guilty if she watches a little bit too much TV at the moment, you just need your sanity as well! It will pass! And you listed so many positive things that I'm sure that you will mainly remember those, a few years from today...

  5. Thank you for sharing this great post. I remember feeling like I'd been given a huge gift when my hubby's schedule became more like mine (instead of him working into the night/morning). It helps so much to have someone there! Thanks also for mentioning me in the post. I feel the same way about you! xx

  6. This is a great post Kelly. I love it when moms are honest and share what is true. I think it is good for every one. I always think it is so amazing that any moms with young kids get any thing done- especially art work :)

  7. Wow, what a great post, Kelly! Since my only "children" are fur babies, I read this from the child's point of view, having a Mom whom raised four of us alone ... and I'm reminded of the struggles she faced in doing so. From the "child's perspective," you've enlightened me that I need to cherish the memories of all the time spent with Mom, and realize that there wouldn't have been so much of the "us time" if there had been a father present.

    I, too, wonder how parents get anything done, or have any time for themselves. I admire single parents; well, actually, I admire any parents, as I didn't have the courage to attempt parenting ... other than of my fur babies. My hat goes off to anyone whom can give so much of themselves to young ones whom are so dependent for their every need, ... and survive those toddler and teenage years with sanity still intact!

    Wishing you peace and happiness, and a safe return of your DH. Be good to yourself, and know that you're doing the best that you can, that I'm sure is more than many can do, and making many memories to cherish for a lifetime. Big Hugs!

  8. It's great how many people comment on your blog. Not having any family in the area does bite sometimes. Sometimes though Eric & I are relieved! The thing that gets me when I don't have my partner around (besides talking to the cans in the grocery store cause your brain is jello) is if your child gets sick. You are quarantined and can't go anywhere. I know that you both will stay healthy till hubby comes back......but feel free if a need arises to shout out for help!

  9. Yes, I did the single parent thing during my divorce. Very hard, but it makes life worth living! Hang in there and let go of the guilt! Doing the best you can is the best for your child. They are more understanding then we realize. And oh-so resiliant! :-)

  10. You guys leave the BEST comments, ever. Yes, this is a tough time, but it is great too, in many ways. and it's nice to hear from you guys the different perspectives to help me keep things in check. thanks for sharing your stories here!

  11. thanks for stopping by my blog kelly. your work is beautiful! wishing you extra patience and energy during your solo parenting stint. You seem to have things under control. BUt it IS exhausting. Mad more so by the guilt so you can just drop that part and feel a little lighter for it. xo

  12. I can so relate to this post, Kelly. My husband travels a lot for work so that leaves me home alone with the kiddos fairly requires lots of deep breathing and knowing when to let go...and, always, patience.

    I hope you get some time to pamper yourself--that's so important too.

    Sending you love.

  13. oh honey, EACH AND every item on your list I could echo... we are supporting our husband's in their pursuits and yet man oh man there is a reason why parenthood is shared!