W-E-B (Why Even Bother)?

photo credit: Jim DiVitale, ACC photographer

Every so often, my husband and I have this conversation: Why Even Bother?  Why even bother with trying to squeeze in our creative work??  I feel this way, oh, I don't know... maybe once every 10 days or so, it seems.  I'll bet you know how it goes.  You get bogged down with the kids, the house, the errands, the dogs, the laundry and the car repairs.  And then you are supposed to find time (and energy!) for your creative work.  I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired by the end of the day.  I struggle to get creative work done at night after the kids are asleep.  I'm doing good if I'm online, maybe researching exhibitions or checking out gallery websites.

And I was just at the ACC show in Atlanta.  I had a great time talking to other artists and the customers about everything under the sun.  I sold my work.  I talked to another possible gallery in Michigan that wants to carry my work.  Everything was just dandy until Monday.  DH was at the end of his rope with the kids and was about to lose it.  What could I do to help?  Nothing.  I was 5 hours away in Atlanta and hadn't even left town yet.   So, since I've gotten home, I've been recovering from the show and DH has been recovering from the kids.  I've been wondering.  Why Even Bother with all this?  It's obviously hard on hubby when I leave town, but this is the only show I do all year.  I really enjoy doing this show.  I have repeat customers, it's an easy drive, but yes, it's a ton of work.  So, I don't know.  I'm so conflicted here.  I feel it is SO important for my daughters to see me working as an artist, doing something I love, but then it's so hard to find time to work each day.  Everyone says, "Oh, enjoy your kids when they are small."  The thing is: I DO!  I love my kids and I love spending time with them, but I also love my creative work. So how the H*%# do I balance it all???  And the kicker is, I'm actually trying to increase my annual income to put into the education fund for the girls.  So that means working a bit more.  I have to actually make more sculptures to sell more sculptures to make more money.  So how I manage all of this???

The truth is, I don't know how to manage it.  Tomorrow is a different day, and it all may flow so easily and I won't worry a bit.  But today, that's not the case.  Oh well.  Perhaps I'll have a glass of wine tonight and just try not to worry about it.  I'll try to trust in the universe that it will all work out.

Sorry for the rant; I just had to get it out a little :)

~Kelly